Some Welcome/Unwelcome News

So yesterday morning I received some news from my doctor. 

I have alluded to it in the past, but for the past year I have been having some neurological issues combined with some severe lethargy and fatigue and some joint pain and have been dealing with some sort of sickness pretty much every month. Basically I felt exhausted all the time and in turn, very frustrated at my exhaustion. 

I have been to several doctors and specialists and no one could figure out what was wrong. They suspected I was stressed from my school and work, which I technically was. They assumed I was depressed, which I was because I was stressed and tired all the time. They assumed I had Vitamin D deficiency, which maybe I did. 

But I still wasn't getting better. 

Last week I went into urgent care because I had an awful cough and had been sick for a solid month. I told them my symptoms and I ended up getting a full work-up of blood work and an x-ray. 

So the doctor called yesterday morning and left me a voicemail asking to call back as soon as I received the message.

So I called back and spoke with a nurse who told me that I had Lyme Disease. 

And I was ecstatic. For the past year I have been researching my symptoms and suspected I had Lyme. My neurological symptoms threw me off a bit (I was tested for MS) but I had a feeling. 

I had a very good friend who had late stage/chronic Lyme and she almost died. It was awful to see. But as a result, I was familiar with the symptoms. 

My brother also has a friend who is currently undergoing treatment for Lyme right now and when I told my brother my diagnosis, his verbose and eloquent response was "Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh shiiiiiiiiit. That sucks dude." He has such a way with words. 

I also had an incredibly odd encounter several years ago at a Barnes and Noble. An older woman started a conversation with me (I am one of those people who strangers always approach) and spoke to me about how there is a pharmaceutical 'conspiracy' to cover-up the epidemic of Lyme Disease because some people believe that Lyme is a cause for many neurological diseases later on in life and most prominently, Alzheimer's Disease. Her husband was currently suffering from Alzheimer's and at the time I honestly thought this woman was crazy. But she told me to go home and research and watch a movie called "Under our Skin" (the link takes you to the movie on Hulu- it's free and fascinating!) I went home and watched it and my mind was blown. 

I know my body. I knew something was wrong and it was so incredibly frustrating to constantly be told  "There's nothing wrong with you". I knew something was wrong and I finally got someone to find it for me. 

I felt so relieved. 

I am now on antibiotics and am really excited to begin treatment. I am a little nervous as well because about 1/3 of those with Lyme continue to experience symptoms after the antibiotics are through and some do get worse. I am cautiously optimistic but feel vindicated that I have "proof" there is something wrong. 

I am excited to begin my healing journey. I hope to regain some energy and feel like I am living life again because honestly, I feel like I have been sitting on the sidelines a lot. 

So while I am sad I have to go through this all, especially seeing how my friend struggled so much, I am relieved to have an answer and begin getting back on with my life again. 

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Retail Therapy

I have a pretty big project to hand in tomorrow that will frame the rest of my semester. I had already chosen a topic and was not finding myself stimulated enough so naturally I spent 8 hours figuring out a new topic and settled on one I am interested in and all I need to do now is hope my professor approves it. 

So I basically feel like for the last 3 days I have done nothing but throw myself into this project. Which means that I have been spending a lot of time on my computer. Which means that sometimes I find myself purchasing random items in an effort to 'reward' myself for the 10 minutes I spent actually working on my project. 

It's awful. I need a spending freeze ASAP. I have a problem.

So here are some of the goodies I have managed to accumulate in the past week:

This dress is from Walmart and came in at $18.98. It looks really cute so hopefully it will look nice in person as well. 

This shirt is also Walmart and priced at $6. I like blue.

I then picked up some glasses because my mother thinks my glasses make me look like Ted Bundy.

And then I splurged a little at ELF. Luckily everything at ELF is pretty cheap and I had free shipping so it wasn't even so splurgy. But it felt so good and I am excited to get my goodies in the mail!

I picked up the Zit Zapper which I am currently using and love. I see such a difference and feel so refreshed after using it. And for only a $1? Ridiculous. I also picked up the Makeup Set and Seal. I heard good things about it and am excited to try it out. Lastly I snagged some oil sheets because I am usually away from home and can always use them and stash them in my car, purse.. everywhere.

I have no excuse for why I picked these up. They just seemed summery and I don't really understand the whole "baked" thing (it seems like it's everywhere and I still have NO idea what it is) so I wanted to try it out. 

I am not a huge lipstick girl but this looks like such a nice color and very sweet and simple. 

 I have been wanting to expand my brush collection. I got the stipple brush (on the right) for my new Bobbi Brown foundation, an angled eyeliner brush for my cream and gel eyeliners and a smaller eyeshadow brush.

Lastly I picked up some nailpolishes. They are all neutrals and will be perfect for the Fall. 

So yeah, I have gone a little wild. I am hiding my wallet from myself for the next coming days but am super excited about all my packages that will come trickling in soon. 

Have you guys splurged lately?

And now I have procrastinated enough... Back to school work!

A Dilemma

So this past week month has been a tough one. My Summer intensive courses started which packs two 3.5 hour classes into one day and has left me exhausted. It seems like I am never really caught up on the reading and by the time I do feel caught up, it is time to start the reading for next week. 

I also have been sick a lot this past year. I have been to several doctors, neurologists, emergency care- you name it. I went in again on Tuesday to an urgent care clinic because I have had this obnoxious hacking cough that totally kills me at night and makes it impossible to sleep. They think I may have mild asthma so now I have an inhaler and can successfully join the ranks of every other Jewish kid I know. 

But all this health stuff coupled with school stuff has left me rundown. Luckily my parents are amazing and have "taken Moose to summer camp" (he's chilling at their house and has already destroyed a good 13% of it) and I have been able to relax, catch up on cleaning and more importantly- sleep. 

There has been one other impactful stresstor in my life, though, and that is my job. 

I love my job. It's interesting. No day is ever the same and most importantly, it is great experience for the future craziness of the wonderful world of social work. 

It is, however, crazy stressful. I have alluded to my job in the past but I do not like to broadcast it so much. I do work in a shelter for domestic violence survivors. 

That being said, there have been some factors in my workplace that make me feel as if this is not an ideal fit for me at the moment mainly due to issues concerning my safety and my own sanity as well. 

My parents have becoming increasingly worried (they're good at that) and have offered a job for me at my father's company. 

It's hard to turn down. It has flexible hours which I will need once I start clinical along with continuing school in the Fall. It means I can work from home (their home which is basically mine, right guys?) and I can bring Moose in tow as well. It involves doing a lot of marketing and social media which is interesting but definitely a new skill set I would need to develop. 

Oh yeah, and they would pay double. 

For my position now, I only need to work 2 shifts a month to maintain my position. So I could still essentially 'work' here (read: keep on resume) and have a more reliable source of income and sanity from my other main job. 

Typing it up all now, I kind of already see the direction in which I will be taking. I am nervous to drastically switch it up, but I am already feeling some burn-out and definitely need to be more relaxed so I will not develop heart disease before I even give birth. 

So thanks for listening/reading this rambling if you have made it this far. I am still going to noodle on this decision for a bit... but for now, it's back to Arrested Development and readings about the Boston Race Riots. Yipee!