30 April 2013

The day I realized I was poor

I'm a part-time grad student (I know I mention this in practically every post but indulge me) and I also work part-time. I live with my boyfriend, have a puppy who is very expensive and live within 5 miles of a Target. 

This is a lethal combination to make one incredibly poor. 

And this can sometimes make me a little... depressed. 

And then I get into a funk where I become obsessed with supplementing my income. 

Past endeavors have included stealing borrowing cans from my parent's house to redeem for 5 cents (I made a good $5 on this), filling out surveys online (made about $10), offering erotic massages on Craigslist (JK, but I imagine I could rake in at least $15 for that. Can you wear latex gloves during an erotic massage? I feel like there would be a lot of Purell involved if I were to ever go down this route). 

Anyways, I have been exploring different options and narrowed it down to two:
1. Become an Avon representative
2. Sell crack cocaine

Both require some start-up money. For Avon it's $10 and for the crack... I am not exactly sure. I will definitely need to do some more research on that. 

I figure, I like make-up and I like money and I don't mind putting myself into awkward and uncomfortable situations, so why not sell Avon? They're cool. 

And yes, the same logic applies for the crack cocaine. I have not personally ever tried the substance, but I assume it follows the same structure as Avon: hand out samples, take orders, host parties...

Have any of you guys ever been an Avon rep or a drug dealer? Any recommendations or tips? Or better yet, anyone interested in an above-the-shoulder Purell and latex erotic massage? I will perform the massage and for the erotic component, we can play this:

4 comments:

  1. Omg funny you ask because no...I have never done either but...this blog had me laughing!!! I would go with the Avon. Safer...unless there is a sale.

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    1. In that case... I will make sure to hit you up on an hourly basis to purchase my Avon goods!

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  2. Haha, what a funny post! How do you manage the puppy while going to school and working? I tried that and it didn't work out too well.

    Avon is great if you know a lot of people. You also have to be on top of getting the products to them. Just like with drugs. But selling drugs is illegal or some silliness like that.

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    1. Hey! Thanks for stopping by :) Managing Moose and school and work is insane. Some days I come home exhausted and then I get ambushed by a 40 pound dog and while it sounds awful, it really just brightens my day. He makes me excited to come home and I love his disgusting kisses!

      I should probably have also factored in the whole 'drugs are illegal' into my original post.. Good point ;)

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