30 April 2013

The day I realized I was poor

I'm a part-time grad student (I know I mention this in practically every post but indulge me) and I also work part-time. I live with my boyfriend, have a puppy who is very expensive and live within 5 miles of a Target. 

This is a lethal combination to make one incredibly poor. 

And this can sometimes make me a little... depressed. 

And then I get into a funk where I become obsessed with supplementing my income. 

Past endeavors have included stealing borrowing cans from my parent's house to redeem for 5 cents (I made a good $5 on this), filling out surveys online (made about $10), offering erotic massages on Craigslist (JK, but I imagine I could rake in at least $15 for that. Can you wear latex gloves during an erotic massage? I feel like there would be a lot of Purell involved if I were to ever go down this route). 

Anyways, I have been exploring different options and narrowed it down to two:
1. Become an Avon representative
2. Sell crack cocaine

Both require some start-up money. For Avon it's $10 and for the crack... I am not exactly sure. I will definitely need to do some more research on that. 

I figure, I like make-up and I like money and I don't mind putting myself into awkward and uncomfortable situations, so why not sell Avon? They're cool. 

And yes, the same logic applies for the crack cocaine. I have not personally ever tried the substance, but I assume it follows the same structure as Avon: hand out samples, take orders, host parties...

Have any of you guys ever been an Avon rep or a drug dealer? Any recommendations or tips? Or better yet, anyone interested in an above-the-shoulder Purell and latex erotic massage? I will perform the massage and for the erotic component, we can play this:


  1. Omg funny you ask because no...I have never done either but...this blog had me laughing!!! I would go with the Avon. Safer...unless there is a sale.

    1. In that case... I will make sure to hit you up on an hourly basis to purchase my Avon goods!

  2. Haha, what a funny post! How do you manage the puppy while going to school and working? I tried that and it didn't work out too well.

    Avon is great if you know a lot of people. You also have to be on top of getting the products to them. Just like with drugs. But selling drugs is illegal or some silliness like that.

    1. Hey! Thanks for stopping by :) Managing Moose and school and work is insane. Some days I come home exhausted and then I get ambushed by a 40 pound dog and while it sounds awful, it really just brightens my day. He makes me excited to come home and I love his disgusting kisses!

      I should probably have also factored in the whole 'drugs are illegal' into my original post.. Good point ;)


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